patrickthecat

life on earth by patrick the cat

Life On Earth by Patrick the Cat
patrickthecat

A Message From Patrick's Mom
patrickthecat
As many of you have been following, my cat Patrick has been very sick lately and some of his experiences of having cancer have appeared in his blog here.

But sadly, in spite of the best efforts of Patrick's vet Dr. Stewart, after several weeks of brave effort Patrick lost his battle with lymphoma early yesterday afternoon. His passing was gentle and peaceful and, I'm sure, a relief to his weakened body and wearied soul.

On behalf of him and myself, thank you to all of Patrick's wonderful friends and well-wishers. All your kind thoughts, messages and prayers were felt and greatly appreciated by both of us these past few weeks and helped us get through some very tough times.

All you fabulous kitties, give your moms and dads kitty kisses and head-bonks! And all you wonderful cat moms and cat dads, cherish every single hour of every single day you have left with your feline loved ones, for every moment you have together is a wondrous gift.

And know that you are loved, and loved well, each and every single one of you.


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the long road
patrickthecat
my mom and i took that long car ride again today to see uncle doctor stewart. i felt very sick but i was glad to be in that big cool quiet place again. it is ever so peaceful there.

once in the little room, i got weighed (i lost another pound this week) and i was too weak to get off the scale. so i lay there and my mom petted me gently. i put my paw out to her to say thank you and i lay my head down. i purred, and my mom sang along with me.

first she sang the song of the green spring meadows, full of grasses and flowers, and ever so soft and warm.

then she sang the song of the midnight stars, stark and majestic beacons to guide my passage.

then she sang the song of my safe journey back to the sacred star fields where i once dwelled before coming here.

then she sang the song of "i love you," which was my song i was purring to her.

and i knew then that it was time for me to go, and i began to drift away.

soon i heard many more gentle cat songs being sung.

my mom once told me there would be many more cat songs, each one more beautiful than the last.

she was right.


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some new secret caves
patrickthecat
last night i ate a couple of pieces of kibble. my mom was so worried about me because i couldn't eat all day long. i was very hungry but my tummy felt so ookie. so in the evening i ate a couple of kibbles, then i decided it was time to investigate a new secret cave.

a paper bag has been lying on the floor in the bedroom for a couple of days, but i hadn't investigated it till last night. it was a snug little secret cave. every time i shifted position it made crinkling noises. not exactly secret. anyway, i spent the whole night in it, except when i had to go ookies by the litterbox and eat two more pieces of kibble during the night. i switched to my under-bed secret cave just before my mom woke up, and she had to go hunting for me this morning because i wasn't in my paper bag secret cave any more.

and this morning i decided to sit under my cat tree, because the base of my cat tree is carpeted and there is a little plant runner that comes down from the bookcase and across the floor right by the cat tree, so i was like in a little jungle lair, surrounded by greenery. it was pleasant, especially when my mom gave me some kibbles under there.

but then i had to go ookies on the bathroom floor a little while later.

then i went into my vacation home secret cave for a while.

i still wish i could get into that kitchen cupboard, though. that's where i really want to be. i'm sure that in there among the packages of cereal and bottles of juice and olive oil and cans of beans and some saucepan lids and stuff i can find the perfect snacks that won't give me ookies. and i can get together in there with the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams and we can go off on adventures together and stuff. maybe he can lead me to a place where i won't be sick and have ookies anymore. that would be ever so nice.


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untitled
patrickthecat
i feel so sick today all i can do is lie by the living room wall and think about all the nice places the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams tells me he is soon going to take me . . .


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the man on the ladder
patrickthecat
just as my mom left this morning i heard scraping noises coming in from outside the bathroom window. i lay by the wall in the living room for most of the day and listened to the scraping noises in between snoozes and chats with the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams.

when my mom came home later she went in the bathroom and said "the window is all covered up! the painters must be here already." then she gave me a snack and petted me while i ate a little, and she told me that no matter what happened, everything was going to be okay. i remembered hearing the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams tell me the same thing, so i tried to pay attention to what she said.

then i had to go ookies so i went into the bathroom. just as i finished going ookies on the floor, a man outside the window tore the paper away. he could look right in at me! there i was, sitting next to a puddle of ookies with a man right outside the window! i was glad he descended below view right away (my mom said he was climbing down a ladder) and didn't try to come in to grab me and poke me and prod me like they do when i go visit uncle doctor stewart. even though he didn't look like anyone i've ever seen at uncle doctor stewart's place, you can never be too sure about stuff like that.

my mom had to clean me under my tail because my ookies were so messy and my little cat butt got all ookie. but still, that's better than being poked and prodded any day.

then my mom combed me and we had an old-fashioned cuddle. she said "your little hip bones are really sticking out, patrick. they never stuck out before. there are all sorts of concavities to your body that never used to be there." i felt very weak but it felt ever so good to have an old-fashioned cuddle, concavities or not. it made me feel like no matter what happened, everything was going to be okay. that made me feel all nice inside.


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i must remember to ask my mom what "concavities" are.


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another ookie day
patrickthecat
i could hardly eat anything today. my tummy is ever so ookie. i did have a few snacks and a treat but it wasn't much.

my mom said, "i'm so sorry, little guy. i wish i could fix your tummy for you," and she petted me and cuddled me and gave me a kiss on my head.

i wanted to tell her that it's okay, mom. i know you're trying your best.

it's hard for us both.


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for now
patrickthecat
i lie in the corner all day long. my tummy is very ookie. i can't eat anything.

i hear a birdie singing all afternoon long outside the window, trilling and burbling and warbling tirelessly, hour after hour. my mom says it's a mocking-birdie, but i think it's the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams, singing the future into a song that we can hear.

i think about why i'm here. i think about why i'm feeling ookie. i think about why my mom cares for me so. being so light, i think about why i haven't floated away yet. a gentle tether holds me here still.

when i go to have a drink, i see my reflection in my water bowl. i exhale, and my breath on the water causes my reflection to ripple and nearly dissolve. i inhale and my reflection comes back, wavering and fluid. i exhale, and my reflection dissolves into blurs and random glints on the water. with just a breath, i disappear . . . then reappear.

something is gently tethering me here still.

i will not seek to break free of this gentle tether, not yet. not for now.

i will lie down with it, within it, and let it hold me here. for a while. for now.


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my brand new snacks gave me ookies
patrickthecat
my brand new snacks that i loved so much yesterday gave me ookies.

oh my poor tummy.

yuck.


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my brand new snacks
patrickthecat
today we took the long drive to see uncle doctor stewart. i got to spend a while there getting tested and weighed (i lost another pound this week, and i feel ever so light) and injected with more medicines. i felt ever so quiet on the ride home. it felt like no big deal. i knew i was going home to some snacks, which is always a nice thing.

what i didn't know was that there were brand new snacks waiting for me at home! this was an amazing thing. the brand new snacks were ever so delicious and satisfying to crunch. they were a wonderful taste sensation.

after i had my brand new snacks i went to the wall in the living room where i thought i'd seen a door yesterday, but after i lay there for a while i realized i wasn't so interested in the door anymore. what i was interested in was more brand new snacks. so i went and helped myself to some.

then i went to take another nap, but in a little while i decided i wanted some more brand new snacks. so i went and had some.

then i took another nap in my new extra-secret secret cave under the big strange piece of furniture in the living room, but that didn't last long because soon i wanted some more brand new snacks. this time i had some brand new snacks plus some of my other snacks that my mom left out for me. i got a choice of snacks to have! that was totally coolio. my mom is the best sometimes.

the sun set while i sat on my window seat looking at the view and thinking about my day and about my brand new snacks. my mom brushed me and gave me a kiss and said "today is a blessing, patrick, because we're here together."

i agree!


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the door
patrickthecat
i stared at a door all day long today. when i wasn't staring at it i was lying down next to it. my mom saw me and said "why are you staring at the wall, patrick?" i don't think she could tell that a door was there.

but i saw it. sometimes i could even see through it. i could see stars and galaxies and stuff right through it. i realized it was still daytime when i saw the stars and stuff, and i felt confused. so i sat and thought about it for a while.

sometimes i could see the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams floating among the stars. he was soaring on a golden cloud through space. meteors and comets were swirling around him as he flew along. i thought i heard little bells chiming and saw silver sparkles everywhere. i wanted to go through the door to see more but my mom didn't seem to be able to see it and i didn't know how to open it by myself. so i sat there waiting.

after a while i felt ever so light-headed and meowed when my mom came into the room. i felt confoozed about stuff. she talked to me for a little while, then picked me up and carried me down the hall. at first i thought we were going to go on the long ride to see uncle doctor stewart, but instead she just set me down gently by my snacks and sat there with me. i sat there and purred for a while, trying to puzzle out stuff in my mind. after a while i forgot about the door and decided to eat some snacks. my mom combed me a little bit and said "it's going to be okay, patrick. everything is going to be okay. no matter what happens, you'll be okay. everything is going to be all right." that was so nice of my mom to do. i felt better after that.


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the kitchen cabinet
patrickthecat
i was lying on the kitchen floor waiting for breakfast this morning. i wanted a snack but i also wanted to get into yet another secret cave in one of the low kitchen cabinets. i've poked my head in there before and i know i can fit in there now that i am so skinny.

i had my morning snack and then i went ookies on the bathroom floor, and then i sat right in front of the cabinet and meowed. my mom opened it and i was able to crawl over some packages and bottles and cans and stuff to get almost all the way inside. it looked like there might be room way in the back for me to sit atop some pots and stuff. my mom started laughing and said "patrick, what are you doing? you can't go in there. that's no place for you to hang out." i was determined to get in there because it would be a perfect new secret cave for me. but my mom gently tugged me back out and tried to comfort me even though i was terribly disappointed. i sat for a while right in front of the cabinet peering beseechingly at it. my mom tried to distract me with some more snacks, but i didn't want to eat. i wanted to go into that snug little cave in the cabinet. i thought it would be ever so nice resting atop packages of cereal and bottles of juice and olive oil and cans of beans and some saucepan lids and stuff. and i figured it would be ever so easy for the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams to find me in there as well.

but i couldn't get in. so i went back to my new extra-secret secret cave under the big strange piece of furniture in the living room instead. the little dog did find me there and we had a lovely conversation about my mom and about birdies and about what clouds are like and stuff.


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my new extra-secret secret cave
patrickthecat
when my mom was gone today i managed to squeeze myself into a new extra-secret secret cave. i've gotten so skinny lately that i can squirm into snug little places i was never able to get into before. so today i was poking around in the corner of the living room and saw a snug little secret place behind and under a big strange piece of furniture. the space was just barely big enough for me in my current skinny condition. i never would have been able to get into there before now. so i crawled in there and thought about stuff and talked with the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams while in my new extra-secret secret cave.

later on in the afternoon i heard my mom come in the door and call "patrick?" she went into the bedroom then came back into the living room and called "patrick?" i heard her look in my other secret cave and my old secret cave, calling "patrick? where are you?" i heard her go back into the bedroom and lift up the quilt to look in my under-bed secret cave, calling "patrick? are you here? are you hungry? where are you?" i heard her come back into the living room and look around again, then into the bathroom, then back into the living room, calling "patrick? where are you? are you okay?"

then she opened the closet door; that's when i meowed. i don't know why i meowed just then, because i wasn't in the closet. she opened the closet door again, but i wasn't there. i was in my new extra-secret secret cave under the big strange piece of furniture. she looked around where my voice came from and finally she found me. she reached in and petted me and said "i'm so glad you're here! i thought you'd disappeared! i was so afraid i'd lost you!" she petted me for a while and gave me some kisses, and when she saw i was okay she made herself some lunch. i contemplated life in my new extra-secret secret cave for a while while she had some lunch. then i thought it would be a good idea to crawl even further underneath this big strange piece of furniture, because it was really snug and cozy, if a bit dusty.

after her lunch my mom came over and crawled on the floor to look at me squeezed into my new extra-secret secret cave. "hmm," she said. "well, kiddo, are you hungry? do you want your snack?" i heard kibbles rattling in my food dishes. i saw my mom move a little basket out of the way on one side, but i was too far away for her to reach me. then i heard her move a giant rubber tree out of the way on the other side, behind me. i heard her lie down on the floor, then i felt her hand on my back, petting me then grabbing my leg and pulling. i meowed but slid along on the hardwood floor out from my new extra-secret secret cave under the big strange piece of furniture. i was afraid we were going to go take the long drive to see uncle doctor stewart again, but instead my mom petted me and gave me a kiss and set my snacks down in front of me.

suddenly it seemed like a very good idea to eat something. i hadn't eaten since this morning and my snacks seemed ever so good to crunch on. so i had a few, and my mom petted me. then i went back into my new extra-secret secret cave, to wait till it was snack time again.


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i ate some snacks today
patrickthecat
i ate some snacks today. i felt like eating for the first time in a long time. first i had some gooey treat that was ever so tasty. then i had my regular snacks and they were ever so tasty. then i had a long snooze in my secret cave. it felt ever so good to rest.

then i came out and almost went wee on the bathroom floor. but the bathroom floor smelled like soap instead of pee, so i decided i'd better go wee in my litterbox instead. then i went up onto my window seat and looked at the view out the window. hiding in my secret cave for so long i had almost forgotten what the pretty view was like, and how pretty it was watching the afternoon breeze gust through the trees and the afternoon sun cast a warm glow on the buildings across the street. i saw a bicycle go by, and it was ever so interesting. i never saw bicycles in my secret cave. i pretended to chew on my cat grass for a while, and my mom combed and brushed me.

all in all, not a bad day. better than most, lately.


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under the peacook's tail
patrickthecat
i spent all day in my secret cave. this afternoon i tried to eat a little bit, but this evening i had a tum-ups. i felt ever so ookie. my mom tried ever so hard to help me feel better, and i purred a lot to tell her thank you and to tell her i'm sorry i don't feel better. she gave me a kiss on my head and told me "it's okay, patrick. you're my good friend and you always will be. it's okay. everything's going to be okay, no matter what." the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams came and turned himself into a peacook and spread his tail over me like a coverlet to keep me safe. and so i slept.


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in my secret cave
patrickthecat
i rested and snoozed in my secret cave. i've been so tired and so ookie lately. it feels soothing to be alone and quiet so i can think about what's what.

every couple of hours my mom looked in on me. she poked in my water bowl under my nose and said "drink?" then she poked in my food dish under my nose and said, "snack?" then she poked in a little bowl of cream under my nose and said, "cream?" i licked my chops a few times and i took one or two bites of snacks, but mostly i had to turn my head away because my tummy still feels too ookie. then my mom petted me on my head and told me i'm a good boy. that felt ever so nice.

i had long conversations with the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams about what i want to do. he said he will wait for me. i told him i'm glad because i want to stay here for a while, if i can.

he pointed out i had to remind my mom of this, so i crawled out of my secret cave and went wee and ookies in my litterbox instead of on the bathroom floor. (i think some of my ookies went over the edge onto the floor anyway but my mom didn't seem to mind.) i went up on my windowseat for the first time in a long time and looked at the view out my window and pretended to chew on my cat grass. my mom combed me and brushed me and we had an old-fashioned cuddle just like we used to before i started feeling ookie.

then i went back into my secret cave to rest and think and snooze some more. it feels good to rest.


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the light show
patrickthecat
last night there was a sort of a light show in my secret cave. at first i didn't know what was going on, being half asleep and very weak, but it smelled kind of like my mom. or rather, it kind of felt like her vibe. i guess light doesn't really have a smell, does it?

anyway, i saw white, and i felt pure and focused, moreso than i had in a long time.

then i saw blue, and i felt ever so calm and peaceful.

then i saw golden, and i felt like i could see the road to take and what it was like along the way.

the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams did all kinds of crazy stuff -- turning himself into one of those little black-and-white whales, into a miniature sphinx, into a pink oliphant, into one of those birdies with the resplendent seeing-eye tail, to get my attention. i told him i'm not ready yet. i liked the light show.

yesterday my mom had told me to let her know very clearly what i wanted her to help me with, so after watching the light show and thinking all night long in my secret cave, i decided to tell my mom i wanted to stay.

this morning when she got up i wobbled out of my secret cave and meowed for something to eat. my mom was surprised but very glad to make me some breakfast. i actually ate two bites. i wanted to eat more but i felt too sick to continue. i actually drank some water too, for the first time in a long time. later on my mom gave me more snacks and some cream. she's never given me cream before. it was pretty tasty and i drank a little before i felt too sick to continue.

then we took the long drive to go see uncle doctor stewart. in spite of feeling quite weak i was most interested in what was going on, even though i didn't like getting poked and prodded. uncle doctor stewart was glad to see me again. i also got bathed under my tail and injected with a new medicine and hydrated with fluids.

i went wee on myself in the carrier on the way home, though, and then i went ookies on the bathroom floor. i'm too tired to eat anything, but at least my mom knows i want to keep trying. and she's ever so nice about cleaning up my ookies and wee on the floor.

i told the little dog he's going to have to wait. he folded up his tail and skulked off. at the time he had turned himself into one of those birdies with the resplendent seeing-eye tail, and it dragged melodramatically behind him. if i'd been feeling better i would have been tempted to pounce on it. that would have been fun.


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my mom says the birdie with the resplendent seeing-eye tail is called a "peacook," but i can't imagine how it could cook peas with that long tail dragging behind it all the time.


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time to go
patrickthecat
the little dog who sometimes visits me in my dreams was behind the closet door today, telling me it was time to go with him. but i couldn't get into the closet. i don't think my mom knew he was in there or that i was supposed to go with him. she didn't open the door.

we had a little cuddle today. she brushed me a little and i purred a lot to say thank you to her, but i got quite tired so we had to stop. i lay down in the sun and slept. i thought i saw my mom far off on a green hilltop waving bye-bye. the little dog kept telling me it was time to go.


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the stillness of midday
patrickthecat
the sun crept through the afternoon sky. sunlight washed slowly across the living room floor in the stillness of midday. all was quiet. i napped, i dreamed.

then i almost had some ookies on the rug in the other room here, the one room i can never get into. the door is usually shut all the time. i went down the hall and saw the door ajar, so i went in and began sniffing at the rug. it smelled like it could be a good place to go ookies. but then my mom saw me in there and called me out into the hallway. so i went ookies on the bathroom floor instead.

then my mom and i had a cuddle in the living room. she tried to coax me to eat but i felt too sick, my tummy said no, no, no. so i watched the lacy curtains billow about in the breeze and i smelled the smells coming in through the window before i went back into my secret cave. i felt light as a feather and ready to float away.


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staring at shadows
patrickthecat
i couldn't eat anything this morning. i stared at the shadows on the wall all afternoon. then my mom tried to help me eat something. it tasted nice but i felt so ookie i had to stop. the little dog from my dreams keeps on showing up and wanting me to go with him, but i don't want to leave my mom yet. she's very worried about me. she combed me today and it was ever so nice.

i wish i felt better but i don't think i can, now.


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